Let me be honest here. I was practically in your same boat. I was always evading and sneaking taking no chances wherever I went until I got my first tent. After that it was smooth sailing. What really changed things was finding other cool players to enjoy this game with. It's all about either learning to survive on your own or banding up with some people you can trust really when it comes to surviving out there.
My thing is, if we could all press a magic button to level up then PVE would become meaningless as far as leveling and experience goes. It would remove something of intrinsic value that always was and will be Fallout. I'm sure there are PVP only servers for FOnline, if you don't like the PVE variety I'd start searching. This server finds a fairly decent balance between the two.
As far as combat arenas go I do believe there are a few of that variety, however the leveling experience is not a part of those particular endeavors. I know you can pick your gear, at least weapons, but as far as the other details go I do not know.
I know what you're talking about as far as Tactics goes. Granted the multiplayer was fairly decent but what always was Fallout was traveling around, having a massive world to explore and I think that's what I enjoy the most here.
This game takes some time and effort to get your characters to a level where they can contend with others. I suggest asking around on IRC if you're inclined to get involved with the community side and inquire on a build type that fits what you wish to accomplish or the style you wish to combat in.
But if you're like me and you're satisfied with fighting amongst a closed group of friends and going out on PVE journeys, there's always people around who'd love to help you out. Remember, before you toss your monitor out the window, ask around, there's helpful boys and girls here.
