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Author Topic: A Fonline story. (Edited and continued)  (Read 2108 times)

Michaelh139

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A Fonline story. (Edited and continued)
« on: November 14, 2010, 10:22:44 pm »

CHAPTER I, Death by a Talon.

He spots his target, the target, fast, almost unnoticable to the untrained eye, and deadly with it's wikisha.  But thankfully, his target was far away, and somewhat panicking, else it would be impossible to get even a hint of it due to it's unnatural skill at moving through shadows.  He readies his rifle, unmoving, unflinching, slowly groping his scope's abdomen onto the moving target's head, for the kill.  Slowly, ever so slowly pulling the trigger for the shit to come.  He notices something else, out the very edge of the his scope, a flying object. Small and the shape of a line slightly vibrating as it glided through the air.  Then it hit him, in the throat in fact.  He falls back groping the object that had obviously destroyed him.  He didn't hesitate, he knew he didn't have long.  He yanked it out, blood flushing out of his body, and saw the piece of steel shining in the moonlight covered with dripping blood.  And thought to himself:  "Wtf!?."  and died.

The one who had thrown the knife came out of the shadows to the corpse, he smiled with glee and he grabbed the knife form the corpse's hand and put it back in his sheath.  He said without being too soft or too loud "Come".  A child came out of the shadows, the stark reality of the boy's body features would unnerve any man.  A horrendous disfigured face, like it had been burned and gnawed on by a molerat, and was extremely skinny, with some scars running along his arms and legs.  But the man who gave the killing blow was still smiling in approval as he had become used to the child's disfigurement.  And he said "Good one talon #52, looks like your eating good tonight."  The boy smiled showing unusually well cared for teeth.  Not exactly James Bond perfect, but there wasn't that usual "wastelander chipped tooth syndrome" going on here either.  "Come, gather what is light and useful, you know the drill."  They went to work, gathering what loot they could find, taking the mans jacket and rifle, his ammo box, and what food and drink he had, they also took a few tools he used to care for his gun, and set off.

They arrive and a huge mansion, in good shape, though the paint looked peeled off a bit, nothing was out of place though, no gaping holes, or scarred walls.   A man sitting on a balcony with a very impressive looking rifle with a scope hollered welcome, and yelled to someone downstairs to open the door.  The man and child walk into a world unlike the one they go on usual trips for supplies.  There was an unlikely abundance of children running around, there was an almost equal ratio of adults though.  they walked upstairs, and went past the balcony where the gatekeeper sat and kept an eye out for outsiders.  The disfigured child asked, "Shouldn't we give the Herrod the rifle and ammo?  I'm sure he could make good use of it."  The Master of shadow and blade replied, "I don't think it is the same type of rifle, or ammo, he probably wouldn't be able to use it, I think we'll hold onto it for now, if we can't find another use for it Herrod can have it."  A Young adult went around a corridor going the opposite direction of the pair, a lean boy of about 17, dark skinned, but not a black man either, no one knew his ethnic group and didn't care, something a perfect society would do, so was this a perfect society?  After the boy caught a glimpse of them before he went along he hollered to the boy, "sup Welson, got anything good?"  The disfigured boy quickly replied, "Some food and water, nothing much." "Cool." and he went off.  The master smiled, "Good one, I almost thought you were about to blurt out we got a gun."  Welson felt pride within.

Finally after directing themselves through the huge mansion and saying hi this and hi that as they met people along the way they found their rooms, the man gave the boy some Snack cakes and a canteen with water.  "Use it sparingly, as always." Welson replied, "Yes, sir."  "And get some rest, you look like your about to pass out." "Yes, sir."  There was a short pause, the child was about to go into his room, "Wleson, good job out there, I know I put you in a really bad position..."  "Thank you sir."  

They walked into their rooms, shut the doors, and hoped that when they fell to sleep, they would dream, but they both knew that was a false hope, they didn't dream anymore.
« Last Edit: January 20, 2011, 10:59:37 pm by Michaelh139 »
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Michaelh139

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Re: Fonline story. (Edited and continued)
« Reply #1 on: January 20, 2011, 09:12:22 pm »

Edited and continued, hope you guys like it.
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Mr Feltzer

  • FOnline: Australia
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Re: A Fonline story. (Edited and continued)
« Reply #2 on: January 20, 2011, 11:31:07 pm »

Very good :D
Nice Story Telling skills, I look forward for another one (If you make one ey ;D )
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Michaelh139

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Re: A Fonline story. (Edited and continued)
« Reply #3 on: January 20, 2011, 11:54:22 pm »

Thanks, this is only chapter 1, each chapter will consist of one day each.  However, this whole story was created by impulse, I didn't think for hours on end on a good consistant storyline, or draft the next chapters to a degree (Like I SHOULD have), so I am drawing a blank at this point.  :P

I'll give chapter 2 a shot next week.
« Last Edit: January 20, 2011, 11:57:36 pm by Michaelh139 »
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falloutdude

  • just some canadian guy
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Re: A Fonline story. (Edited and continued)
« Reply #4 on: January 21, 2011, 01:55:00 am »

Very nice mich seems like if you do the full storey and continue on what you have it wil be a real good storey.keep writeing when you can I wana read more.
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