Continuing the coverage of the glorious adventures of the Chosen One.
You encounter: Vault City caravan and Gecko caravan.
The Chosen One: Sweet! *Pulls out popcorn*
VC caravan guard1: Ghouls! Git 'em!"
Gecko caravan guard1: Braaaains!
Gecko caravan guard2: ... what?
Gecko caravan guard1: Shoot them in the head. Idiot.
Gecko caravan guard2: Dude, you're getting weirder with each trip.
VC caravan guard1: Fucking finish your turn already. That prick over there has it set up for turn based, goddamnit... Can I shoot him?
VC merchant: No! That ammo comes out of my pocket. Just shoot those goddamned zombies!
VC caravan guard1: I can't! They are holding up the turn. You should let me cap that dirty ape over there, we should go to real time and be done much quicker. It's not like we have to worry about rep drop.
Gecko caravan guard1: *BOOM!*
VC Guard1 was hit in the head for 8 hit points.
Gecko caravan guard1: Headsh-, oh, come ON! I got SG tagged and at 250%! 2x More Criticals, fucking Finesse, he's in a shitty basic metal armor and it's still just regular damage? That's bullshit!
Gecko caravan guard2: *BOOM!*
VC Merchant was hit in the groin for 14 hit points.
VC merchant: WTF? WHY ME?!
Gecko caravan guard2: I'm with them about that player prick. Holding up everybody...
Gecko merchant:
...
Gecko merchant:
VC caravan guard1: Oh, for fuck's sake...
Gecko caravan guard2: Piss off, he's afk. Checking on forum what barter % is enough to drop player trade window counter to 5. They never buy, anyway, he says.
VC caravan guard1: ...
VC caravan guard1: Finally. Eat led, shedding motherfuckers!
VC caravan guard1: *RA-TA-TA-TA*
Gecko Guard2 was hit for 24 hit points.
VC merchant: Not a burst! SINGLE SHOTS! That's my profit you're shooting away!
VC caravan guard2: *RA-TA-TA-TA*
VC merchant was hit for 32 hit points.
VC merchant: WTF?!
VC caravan guard2: I was aiming at the ghoul behind you. Totally accidental.
VC merchant: No it fucking wasn't!
VC caravan guard2: Yes it was! There's always a miss chance. Besides, with a burst if you're in the way you get hit. Simple game mechanics. I'm not the one blocking my line of fire.
VC caravan guard2 [whisper]: Jesus, fucking crybaby...
VC merchant: Goddamnit, I'm bleeding all over...
VC merchant: *BOOM!*
Gecko guard1 was hit in the groin for 12 hit points.
Gecko guard1: Guess that radiation damage did have some benefits. Good luck with crits there, bitches!
Gecko guard1: *BOOM!*
VC merchant was critically hit in the groin for 139 damage and had his armor bypassed.
Gecko guard1: Payback's a bitch, ain't it?
VC merchant: ... shi-
Gecko guard2: *BOOM!*
VC merchant was critically hit in the groin for 56 damage and was killed.
VC merchant: -t.
Gecko merchant:
...
Gecko merchant:
VC caravan guard1: For FUCKS sake!
Gecko merchant:
VC caravan guard1: Finally. Fucking lamers.
VC caravan guard1: *RA-TA-TA-TA*
Gecko guard1 was hit for 23 hit points.
The Chosen One: *Munch munch munch*
...
The Chosen One: *Mun-* Yuck! Bleeh. Watch where you blow pieces of them!
VC caravan guard1: Oh, you're getting it now!
VC caravan guard2: Shit, man, hold up! With the dude we were supposed protecting gone they likely gonna kick us out. We might even end up as players! Watch the rep, man, don't shoot!
VC caravan guard1: Oh, shit, you're right. Lucky prick...
Gecko guard1: Gaaah.
VC caravan guard1: *RA-TA-TA-TA*
Gecko guard1 was hit for 46 hit points and was killed.
VC caravan guard2: *RA-TA-TA-TA*
VC caravan guard1: ... wtf? He's already dead...
VC caravan guard2: Lag, goddamnit. See you around, ape.
VC caravan guard1: Loot the corpses? If we end up players...
VC caravan guard2: Yeah, good idea. I know where we can stash the shit safely.
...
The Chosen One: Wonder if they cleaned everything.
You see a dead: Merchant.
You see a dead: Guard.
You see a dead: Guard.
You see a dead: Merchant.
You see Assault Rifle.
The Chosen One: Holy... Sweet!
The Chosen One: Money for the hides for tent! W00t!
Trudge, trudge, trudge...
You encounter: NCR caravan and Ghoul crazies.
NCR caravan guard2: 1, skip the turn! Let them fire at that guy, he's got fucking turn-based combat on!
NCR caravan guard1: Got it.
Crazies1: Mwahah- Wait. You mean that guy in the blue shirt?
NCR caravan guard2: Yeah.
Crazies1: Oh. Thanks, man, I was gonna shoot you...
Crazies1: *BOOM!*
You were hit for 18 points.
Crazies2: *BOOM!*
You were critically hit in the groin for 20 points and were killed.
The Chosen One: Oh, come ON!
Crazies2: Turn-based. Nuff said.
NCR caravan guard2: *BOOM!*
Crazies was critically hit for 130 points and was killed.
Crazies2: ... shit.
BOOM! BOOM! RATATATABOOM!
You see a guard. They never seem to take a liking to you. She looks: Unhurt.
NCR caravan guard1: Hey, this blue-shirt actually had some shit on him. Check this out.
NCR merchant: Mine.
NCR caravan guard1: Oh, come on!
NCR merchant: You work for me. I pay you. Shit we find, it's mine. See you in the market, blue-shirt. Bring caps. Heh heh heh.
tl:dr version: Chanced upon a fight between VC and Gecko caravans. After VCs wiped the ground with the ghouls (though the caravan master), they looted the corpses. Thinking the hell I got to lose, being just killed, I checked the corpses and found 50% det assault rifle and 17 caps on one of the corpses. Didn't get shot for looting, either. Decided to make a run to NCR to pawn it and maybe buy hides for tent there - run into NCR caravan and Crazies on the way. Course, the first Crazie to shoot targetted me. So did the second. Died, then they died, then an NCR guard looted my corpse...
It's not easy being me