Based on evidence by Imam Shafi’i, can we safely assume it's allowed by the Brahmin gods (not to be mistaken with the weak Rat God or his brother Brain) for the NCR military to make sex with various non-living products such as Cheesy Puffs while away from home? This is to prevent unfortunate encounters with exploding cow bombers.
P.S the cheesy puffs are of no religious signifigance.
double P.S unlike many of the prostitutes in redding and new reno, cheesy puffs are not required to be paid for their sexual services.