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Author Topic: Artefacts of The Damned - A Fonline 2238 Tale: 16 Sept. Update  (Read 3204 times)

gordulan

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Artefacts of The Damned - A Fonline 2238 Tale: 16 Sept. Update
« on: September 10, 2010, 01:50:05 pm »

Note: 10th Sept 2245 is just an intro and I plan on adding more stuff to the Tale, but right now I'm stuck between 3 different plots that I want for it and I may change the title to something more appropriate once I have decided where the plot will go. Pain in the ass to reread this and miss some "adn" and double letter faults, there has to be at least one more "adn"... somewhere...

13th Sep Update: Lost in the desert. Titles are red, latest one is now lime green for ease, the update is tiny, but still, better have a little text added that none at all, creative brainfart...

16th Sep Update: Awakening. *Hooverbot: A hoverbot equipped with domestic items, such as a vacuum cleaner, a duster & dishwasher.

10th Sept. 2245

As I woke up, dazed from yesterday’s storm, I noticed the environment around me, ever since yesterday everything seemed fleeting and i could not recall anything at all, lying there in my battered Leather Jacket it seemed that it was in the basement of a building I had stumbled into before the sandstorm had hit properly. Feeling an acute pain in the side of my head I felt after what it was that pained me so, it felt wet, removing my hand and looking upon it it seemed obvious it was blood, and of course it made it clear that I was suffering from amnesia.

Struggling to sit up I thought it would be nice just to lie down and sleep once more, but a nagging feeling in the back of my head advised me against it, so managing to get up off my back I looked around myself, it seemed I really was in a basement warehouse with empty boxes and random junk lying around. I noticed something shiny from the corner of my eye, turning my head in its direction I was pleasantly surprised, it was what seemed to be a silver plated heavily modified 10mm Heckler&Koch MP7 SMG, I then wondered how in the fuck I managed to have such knowledge, but it just brought more pain in the head. I reached for the gun and closely inspected it. It was in what seemed to be near-perfect condition and was loaded with 6 bullets.

Getting up off my ass was easier than I had thought it to be, I now noticed that I was near some dilapidated stairsleading up to a night sky, instead of running up the stairs I decided to rummage through the rubbish lying around. It yielded results, I found a rusty knife, a near-useless backpack and some dirty clothes as well as a leather bag in surprisingly good condition, gathering all these items and lining the backpack with the dirty clothes to cover up the holes in it I placed the knife into the leather bag and placed it into the backpack. I then proceeded in going up the stairs.

What awaited me up there was not what I had expected, people of sorts were camped about 50 metres away from me, luckily they had not noticed me and I observed them more closely and noticed they were not people at all, but walking corpses sitting around a campfire, there were 3 of them and they carried handguns strapped to their backs, knowing somehow that I wouldn’t last long in the desert I decided to take some pot-shots at them.

My first shot ripped through the first zombie’s skull splattering bits of brain all over his two friends stunning them in place for a moment, my next two shots went wide, they saw my muzzle flash and unholstered their weapons and proceeded to fire in my direction, the next bullet I fired hit the second zombie square in the chest passing through the heart and instantly knocking him off his feet and leaving him in a pool of his own blood, the third managed to line up a shot and hit me in the left shoulder, the gaping wound the bullet left told me that they were using low-impact explosive rounds. My next shot hit him in the arm, knocking the weapon out of his hand and leaving it lying completely useless on the desert sand, missing with the last bullet I reholstered my weapon and rushed at the zombie while he was fumbling with his handgun. Managing to grab his friend’s handgun in the rush I placed a boot on his back and fired into his soft skull not once, but three times, pulping his head in the process.

Seeing a Stimulant Package lying around I injected its contents into my gaping wound and starting the knitting process I wondered how I managed to kill those three armed zombies and how I knew that it the shot I took was a stimulant package and that it would heal my gaping wound, but that just led me to having a headache I decided against thinking about it at all. I went ahead and took their handguns and searched their pockets for anything useful. I ended up with finding 50 low-impact explosive 10mm slugs, 2 Stimulants, 2 Pillboxes labeled with ”Buffout” and some dried meat.

Lost in the desert.

Really, I didn’t think this through enough. Dark spots coming and going over  the horizon. Must be my imagination. Lack of water making me move at a half-crawl. Back in terrible pain from the glaring sun. Shouldn’t have had that jerky when hungry. Just dehydrated me.  Dark figure on dune. Can’t take it anymore, have…to…rest…… figure…………coming…………closer.

Awakening

I awoke in a dimly lit cavern with an electrically powered chandelier on the ceiling staring at me, it was in surprisingly good condition although the lightbulbs in themselves had seen better days, them being dirty and all. Hearing a shuffling sound coming closer I assumed that my time was at an end, I then felt a wet thing licking my hand. Phew, a domestic animal, the owner can’t be that bad I thought.

Getting up I took a good look around myself, the cave walls were decorated with all sorts of pre-war junk, and a Hooverbot* was dusting a brass basin, hand-crafted from what it looked like. Looking closer at the Hooverbot I saw that all of its shell was made from discarded cans with a Nuka Cola label attached at a few joins. For a bot refurbished mainly from scrap it moved with an unmatched precision and agility. Suddenly I heard a thumping noise, it was coming closer and closer…
« Last Edit: September 16, 2010, 03:44:46 pm by gordulan »
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Nexxos

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Re: Artifacts of The Damned - A Fonline 2238 Tale
« Reply #1 on: September 10, 2010, 02:38:15 pm »

Swedish quality topic. 5/5
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“And we passed through the cavern of rats.

And we passed through the path of streaming flamethrowers.

And we passed through the faction of the blind.

And we passed through the slough of swarm.

And we passed through the vale of tears.

And we came, finally, to the ice caverns.

gordulan

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Re: Artifacts of The Damned - A Fonline 2238 Tale
« Reply #2 on: September 13, 2010, 10:11:12 am »

Updated, slightly...
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Re: Artefacts of The Damned - A Fonline 2238 Tale
« Reply #3 on: September 13, 2010, 04:35:53 pm »

This was a really awesome read, really good pacing imo.
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Michaelh139

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Re: Artefacts of The Damned - A Fonline 2238 Tale
« Reply #4 on: September 15, 2010, 12:00:08 am »

I'm sorry... but I stopped reading after:  
Quote
it was what seemed to be a silver plated heavily modified 10mm Heckler&Koch MP7 SMG, I then wondered how in the fuck I managed to have such knowledge, but it just brought more pain in the head. I reached for the gun and closely inspected it. It was in what seemed to be near-perfect condition and was loaded with 6 bullets
sounds too similar to Fonline....
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Whenever I say something, imagine \"In my opinion"/ being in the front of every sentence.

gordulan

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Re: Artefacts of The Damned - A Fonline 2238 Tale
« Reply #5 on: September 15, 2010, 03:28:20 pm »

technically this has to do with the character's backstory (he has amnesia), the modded SMG will play a crucial part later on (but I'm not to reveal anything just yet because my mood sets the scene pretty much at the moment, and this only being two parts I can pretty much fuck about with the plot and lore to a certain extent.)
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Re: Artefacts of The Damned - A Fonline 2238 Tale
« Reply #6 on: September 15, 2010, 04:04:15 pm »

I found one
Quote
they saw my muzzle flash adn unholstered their weapons
  ;)

quite interesting tale, I'd like to read more of it
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gordulan

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Re: Artefacts of The Damned - A Fonline 2238 Tale
« Reply #7 on: September 15, 2010, 04:10:57 pm »

thanks, was looking for it all day today... can't believe I missed it, and I personally think there are way too many "and"s in the first part..., I gotta find a way to conserve the "and"s, but that's just me talking...
« Last Edit: September 16, 2010, 03:46:11 pm by gordulan »
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gordulan

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Re: Artefacts of The Damned - A Fonline 2238 Tale: 16 Sept. Update
« Reply #8 on: September 16, 2010, 03:46:02 pm »

16th Sept. 2010: Updated with a new "Chapterette" : Awakening

Trying my hand at a cliffhanger style, might work out, might not... But still, Feedback would be appeciated, Since I'm caught between writing styles and I really don't want it to be sloppy or below mediocre really, so I'm actually wondering what kind ofstyle I'm gonna go with...
« Last Edit: September 17, 2010, 02:02:45 pm by gordulan »
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